Running away from it all

I travel tomorrow, once again it’s an extremely sad feeling going on vacation without her and that too to the place where she grew up and spent all her days before we met.

Well, times are just unbelievable these days so much so that I’m running out of adjectives to describe them. I don’t know what is in store for me in the future. I head into it uncertain, unclear and alone.

Talking of unbelievable times, I watched a movie yday “Ps – I love you”. Someone mentioned it and the plot related so much to my current circumstances that I watched it. These were in the old days her kind of movies where I would sleep halfway. Only this time, I saw it alone
, watched it all. It was wonderful. Several scenes reminded of what I have been through recently. Coming back to an empty house, daydreaming, flashbacks all ring a bell. It’s my space after all.

I have a few more on my list “Ordinary People”, “Life as a house “,” Brave One”. Hard to find these. When I’m not writing here I’m generally busy being a dad, doing chores, running errands or reading. I got 3 books going on my Kindle now – “A magical year”, “Forever ours ” and” Grief observed “.

I hope to finish these in the break. Reading and walking my constant companions in any crisis. Also Music in the background when you are reading has a hypnotic effect. It takes you to look outside of you.

We have done probably more trips than anyone in these 12 unforgettable years. But this one is a first of many to come. Just the 2 boys together on this one. There is anticipation at starting something new but also the constant tug of heart at missing our leader. The baton has been passed to me and I hope I can lead us  boys into the light.

Daniel Connelly: P.S. I Love You (2007) [reading Gerry’s letter] Dear Holly, I don’t have much time. I don’t mean literally, I mean you’re out buying ice cream and you’ll be home soon.
. I have a feeling this is the last letter, because there is only one thing left to tell you. It isn’t to go down memory lane or make you buy a lamp, you can take care of yourself without any help from me. It’s to tell you how much you move me, how you changed me. You made me a man, by loving me Holly. And for that, I am eternally grateful… literally. If you can promise me anything, promise me that whenever you’re sad, or unsure, or you lose complete faith, that you’ll try to see yourself through my eyes. Thank you for the honor of being my wife. I’m a man with no regrets. How lucky am I. You made my life, Holly. But I’m just one chapter in yours. There’ll be more. I promise. So here it comes, the big one. Don’t be afraid to fall in love again. Watch out for that signal, when life as you know it ends. P.S. I will always love you.