Message in a bottle

I found this beautiful passage while watching “Message in a bottle”

“To all the ships at sea, and all the ports of call. To my family and to all friends and strangers. This is a message, and a prayer. The message is that my travels taught me a great truth. I already had what everyone is searching for and few ever find. The one person in the world who I was born to love forever. A person, like me, of the outer banks and the blue Atlantic mystery. A person rich in simple treasures. Self-made. Self-taught. A harbor where I am forever home. And no wind, or trouble or even a little death can knock down this house. The prayer is that everyone in the world can know this kind of love and be healed by it. If my prayer is heard, there will be an erasing of all guilt and all regret and an end to all anger. Please, God. Amen.”

Nicholas Sparks – “Message in a bottle”


4 thoughts on “Message in a bottle

  1. Hello Again Rishi, We both know that our losses were different – you the love of your life, and me a daughter in law who I treasured. But, I believe, in some fashion, that loss is loss. I deal with my loss and I deal with my son and grandson’s loss as well. You have passed through your first year I believe from what I read and are in the second season of your journey as we are. You have read my writing and I talk much about each having their own path to take on this journey. There is nothing more true. But, I also believe that people can offer comfort when they are on a path that crosses at times. My heart breaks for your pain – I watch it in my son. My heart collapses for your son as I see that in my grandsons as well. And yet, I have begun to recognize that my son’s focus on the boys, getting a routine, honoring some of mom’s wishes for them, school, homework, activities and family time is pulling them all out of the hole. Children need routine. Initially they were captivated by all that was going on around this loss that hit us in 10 days. So unexpected, so freakish, so tragic. We were all reeling/in shock. The boys responded to that and they did something at Christmas that was peculiar when I saw it. They made a card for dad – and spoke of HIS pain and how HE lost HIS WIFE and then they said and we loved her so much too. It was then I saw, and he did that they were responding to all of our pain – although we thought we were hiding it. I have learned that spending time and reading the things that are sad, or doing the things that don’t make us happy keep us down, keeps them down. So, we look for events, gatherings, activities, that are centered on things that bring enjoyment in life. She never leaves us, our hearts our minds our conversations but we have shifted purposefully to not watching sad movies, reading books, etc. that hold us down. A recent quote “It doesn’t take much strength to hang on, it takes a lot of strength to let go”
    We are trying to let go little by little. And I wanted to share it is making a difference. And life is forever changed but we are beginning to see that there can be life. Best to you and your son.

    • Hi Debbie, thank you for your thoughtful words. I’m closing in on seven months on this journey of loss. In many similar ways to what you have mentioned, taking care of my son, his school and other activities along with a full time job have helped maintain some level of sanity in a very difficult situation. I do believe she’s always with me and I do everything with her in mind but the transition to a spiritual connection from a physical one is extremely difficult and takes lots of time. I believe gradually the pain becomes different not necessarily better. I also believe it’s important to go through these emotions because only then you can start letting them go. To know that you all have been making progress gives me hope. Much deserved happiness and peace to you all.

      • Hi Rishi, I so believe that you must go through all of the feelings you have. Going through them does indeed help you to let go. And whatever you feel is normal for you and necessary for you. I believe that telling your story makes you a little numb to the pain of it because you have gone over it and over it. I am sure she is always with you, and always will be. She will always be with her child as well. I believe from time to time there are signs of such spiritual connection and contact. Tell me, how is your son doing? Do you find he is moving on a little more easily? I found that with the boys. I said in my blog once that I so worried about her not being at their graduations or their weddings or other special events. They, however were not looking forward with that emotion. They were concerned about things that mattered in their world -like who will drive us to school or, who will pack our lunch. They simply accepted that daddy could not sew-so they asked me if I would come and bring my sewing kit! I was honored. They simply are learning who to fill in the holes with. Yet I know how much they miss her as we talk about it. Children of that age somehow are so much stronger than we. My best to you and my prayer that you will soon find your new “normal” and that you will have peace in accepting it. Blessings to you. Remember, to feel whatever you need to feel as it is the only way to find your way out.

      • Hi Debbie – My experience with my boy is so similar. I have realized at his age, love and security are paramount. He lives in the moment and doesn’t dwell on the past like I do. I guess children’s innocence makes it easier for them to adapt. I find that I have so much to learn from him. I also know sooner or later grief will hit him too but I hope by that time he would be mature enough to deal with it and I have to help him with it. I find that by talking, playing and being involved in his life, it is helping me with my own Grief. I know I can’t ever fill the void but we have to learn to live with it and not try to fix it. I have much to learn about life and parenting and I’m learning as I go along. It’s a pleasure to exchange experiences with you. I wish your family much deserved peace and happiness.

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